








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 555 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 381 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4215 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,093 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5394 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6593 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5472 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5634 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,616,362 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 984 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maximp | 56% | 73 |
| #2 | CreAx | 55% | 60 |
| #3 | Grix | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | KirkeFritzel | 50% | 105 |
| #5 | cHonkers | 49% | 216 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | cHonkers | 49% | 216 |
| #6 | Roody-Poo | 48% | 325 |
| #7 | Kimz | 48% | 327 |
| #8 | CHAZZ MICHAEL MICHAELS | 44% | 174 |
| #9 | Dybz | 43% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roody-Poo | 18 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Kimz | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Maximp | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | KirkeFritzel | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | cHonkers | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cHonkers | 826 | 0.18 | 27 min |
| #2 | Roody-Poo | 810 | 0.12 | 24 min |
| #3 | Kimz | 484 | 0.07 | 14 min |
| #4 | CHAZZ MICHAEL MICHAELS | 451 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #5 | KirkeFritzel | 238 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHAZZ MICHAEL MICHAELS | +0.96 | 73 | 65 |
| #2 | Kimz | +0.75 | 76 | 71 |
| #3 | Aiguo | +0.47 | 62 | 71 |
| #4 | cHonkers | +0.43 | 71 | 74 |
| #5 | CreAx | -0.58 | 46 | 66 |





