








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2113 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,109 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1081 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1598 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2242 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1188 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,036,852 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 201 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eaz | 55% | 69 |
| #2 | Cosmo | 49% | 76 |
| #3 | knsL | 48% | 85 |
| #4 | Mr.Wolf | 46% | 56 |
| #5 | Boris Bananas | 46% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | knsL | 8 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | VoenkeTrekker | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Cosmo | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | eaz | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | PlukkeTuffeR | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PlukkeTuffeR | 387 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | Cosmo | 189 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | knsL | 125 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | eaz | 72 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Boris Bananas | 65 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eaz | +2.83 | 63 | 69 |
| #2 | Mr.Wolf | +2.45 | 54 | 54 |
| #3 | Boris Bananas | +2.23 | 68 | 65 |
| #4 | Cosmo | +1.47 | 63 | 72 |
| #5 | ArlukarT ~ Eyedea lives forever | +0.36 | 56 | 68 |





