








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1388 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 389 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 165 matches | ||
| Wingman | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 143 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9237 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 57,689 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15096 | 26% |
| Smokes | 13649 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 15643 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 13301 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,646,207 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 242 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eaz | 49% | 350 |
| #2 | Cosmo | 49% | 88 |
| #3 | ArlukarT ~ Eyedea lives forever | 48% | 141 |
| #4 | MYSTIC SPAPPY | 45% | 64 |
| #5 | knsL | 45% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iloveyoupookie hawk tuah | +4.38 | 74 | 75 |
| #2 | eaz | +3.31 | 60 | 64 |
| #3 | Cosmo | +2.30 | 64 | 72 |
| #4 | MYSTIC SPAPPY | +0.81 | 58 | 79 |
| #5 | knsL | +0.47 | 41 | 59 |





