








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 153 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 234 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1507 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,022 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 430 | 14% |
| Smokes | 550 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 914 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1128 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,613,737 of utility $266 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kakk0n3n | 50% | 22 |
| #2 | ArctixXx- | 45% | 185 |
| #3 | välilihansyöjäkasvi | 43% | 23 |
| #4 | KEEB | 43% | 257 |
| #5 | yGySonni | 42% | 229 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | välilihansyöjäkasvi | 43% | 23 |
| #4 | KEEB | 43% | 257 |
| #5 | yGySonni | 42% | 229 |
| #6 | sLimbutin | 42% | 257 |
| #7 | Taretzki | 41% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KEEB | 23 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | yGySonni | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | sLimbutin | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | ArctixXx- | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | kakk0n3n | 2 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KEEB | 1208 | 0.22 | 39 min |
| #2 | ArctixXx- | 449 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | sLimbutin | 261 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #4 | Taretzki | 179 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | välilihansyöjäkasvi | 148 | 0.31 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KEEB | +5.32 | 63 | 73 |
| #2 | ArctixXx- | +2.09 | 58 | 65 |
| #3 | välilihansyöjäkasvi | +1.86 | 69 | 67 |
| #4 | Taretzki | -0.86 | 34 | 69 |
| #5 | kakk0n3n | -1.33 | 26 | 77 |





