








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 249 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3568 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,033 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6928 | 43% |
| Smokes | 2713 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 4105 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2287 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,370,397 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 240 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CALVUS | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | carlton | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | biscuits | 56% | 71 |
| #4 | ⚡️ㄥ ㄩ 乂 乇 ⚡ | 54% | 24 |
| #5 | RIPMAX | 54% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | biscuits | 56% | 71 |
| #4 | ⚡️ㄥ ㄩ 乂 乇 ⚡ | 54% | 24 |
| #5 | RIPMAX | 54% | 72 |
| #6 | r1ck | 53% | 38 |
| #7 | r00 | 45% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r1ck | 5 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | RIPMAX | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | biscuits | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | r00 | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | ⚡️ㄥ ㄩ 乂 乇 ⚡ | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | biscuits | 298 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | RIPMAX | 218 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | r1ck | 203 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| #4 | r00 | 149 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #5 | carlton | 100 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r1ck | +6.39 | 85 | 76 |
| #2 | carlton | +4.48 | 74 | 71 |
| #3 | r00 | +1.97 | 88 | 76 |
| #4 | biscuits | +1.60 | 73 | 73 |
| #5 | RIPMAX | -0.50 | 39 | 73 |





