








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 332 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 296 matches | ||
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3281 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,785 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1648 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2810 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3043 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2284 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,978,348 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 242 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holycow | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | Cagey | 63% | 30 |
| #3 | CraMdeN | 60% | 50 |
| #4 | Mucho Mango | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | LeGahSee | 53% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Dead_Bed | 41% | 27 |
| #8 | goblins are real | 39% | 23 |
| #9 | core9 | 39% | 36 |
| #10 | Polacko | 37% | 38 |
| #11 | Towlie | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | goblins are real | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | CraMdeN | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Polacko | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cagey | 180 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #2 | goblins are real | 167 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #3 | Mucho Mango | 167 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #4 | CraMdeN | 150 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | holycow | 138 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cagey | +1.47 | 62 | 71 |
| #2 | core9 | +1.35 | 84 | 50 |
| #3 | holycow | +1.02 | 61 | 71 |
| #4 | Mucho Mango | +0.92 | 69 | 66 |
| #5 | LeGahSee | +0.88 | 66 | 61 |





