








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1449 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 224 matches | ||
| Faceit | 196 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5412 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,099 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6763 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6058 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5489 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4789 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,394,852 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1038 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | righteous | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | newb | 61% | 33 |
| #3 | jman | 54% | 215 |
| #4 | UwU_Pu$$y$layer_UwU | 51% | 59 |
| #5 | jaydez | 50% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jman | 537 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #2 | UwU_Pu$$y$layer_UwU | 276 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | jaydez | 111 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | righteous | 108 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | newb | 82 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | righteous | +1.20 | 53 | 81 |
| #2 | Bnanas | +1.19 | 76 | 69 |
| #3 | UwU_Pu$$y$layer_UwU | +0.22 | 79 | 66 |
| #4 | securelockjc | +0.09 | 66 | 53 |
| #5 | jaydez | -0.08 | 63 | 67 |





