








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1006 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 230 matches | ||
| Premier | 209 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 84 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4849 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,520 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4845 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6067 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5303 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5305 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,925,616 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 780 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mc64 | 57% | 58 |
| #2 | righteous | 54% | 89 |
| #3 | jdizzz64 | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | Cloudツ | 52% | 29 |
| #5 | Bnanas | 50% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | трахни свою мать | 45% | 47 |
| #10 | ✡wafa✡shylock✡ | 43% | 28 |
| #11 | PRIEST64 | 42% | 83 |
| #12 | wyrm | 39% | 28 |
| #13 | HaVoc_Aris | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | righteous | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | PRIEST64 | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | chinner | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Bnanas | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | jdizzz64 | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | righteous | 434 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #2 | Cloudツ | 158 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #3 | mc64 | 155 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | PRIEST64 | 152 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Bnanas | 138 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cloudツ | +2.71 | 75 | 74 |
| #2 | Tubba$$ | +1.97 | 84 | 74 |
| #3 | HaVoc_Aris | +1.28 | 70 | 72 |
| #4 | mc64 | +0.86 | 63 | 66 |
| #5 | Bnanas | +0.81 | 73 | 70 |





