








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 445 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4943 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,542 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1746 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2754 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4272 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 3770 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,906,038 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 948 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rAuroz | 56% | 237 |
| #2 | ZlxVortex | 55% | 186 |
| #3 | Planarian Cherald | 55% | 201 |
| #4 | Bravo | 54% | 46 |
| #5 | Glizzwalled | 51% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Planarian Cherald | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Glizzwalled | 7 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | ZlxVortex | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | rAuroz | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Thin Air 1 | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZlxVortex | 789 | 0.21 | 21 min |
| #2 | Planarian Cherald | 344 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #3 | Shanyeeast | 167 | 0.28 | 5 min |
| #4 | Thin Air 1 | 162 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | Glizzwalled | 110 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Planarian Cherald | +3.25 | 88 | 68 |
| #2 | echowhiskey | +2.73 | 82 | 57 |
| #3 | ZlxVortex | +1.84 | 61 | 61 |
| #4 | Shanyeeast | +1.22 | 59 | 65 |
| #5 | Glizzwalled | -1.77 | 58 | 61 |





