








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 127 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1283 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,545 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 906 | 26% |
| Smokes | 924 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 940 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 775 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $396,125 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kurkel | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | mynthon | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | Lebe | 70% | 10 |
| #4 | Maindi | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | urbanurger | 63% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | skill issue | 56% | 9 |
| #7 | 7 | 52% | 25 |
| #8 | legit bile taneli | 50% | 24 |
| #9 | Taiquri | 42% | 12 |
| #10 | vade | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7 | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | legit bile taneli | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | vade | 1 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Taiquri | 1 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | urbanurger | 1 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7 | 148 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| #2 | Taiquri | 59 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #3 | legit bile taneli | 44 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | urbanurger | 42 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #5 | kurkel | 32 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7 | +4.13 | 80 | 81 |
| #2 | kurkel | +4.00 | 70 | 86 |
| #3 | Harzza | +1.87 | 81 | 69 |
| #4 | legit bile taneli | +0.96 | 86 | 61 |
| #5 | mynthon | +0.17 | 61 | 70 |





