








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 204 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 151 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1372 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,467 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2416 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2742 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2752 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1557 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $428,475 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Svessi ツ | 47% | 15 |
| #10 | bOZNI | 44% | 27 |
| #11 | S! | 44% | 132 |
| #12 | Richard! | 41% | 104 |
| #13 | NucliKukli | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S! | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Richard! | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | oYzaNia | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | AskN^^ | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | bOZNI | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S! | 501 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #2 | AskN^^ | 123 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | HEN | 107 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | bOZNI | 103 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Richard! | 83 | 0.04 | 3 min |





