








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 452 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 356 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4007 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,572 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1612 | 14% |
| Smokes | 3503 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3673 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2784 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,713,638 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | HandsomeBanana | 46% | 83 |
| #11 | zaico | 45% | 29 |
| #12 | asK | 45% | 38 |
| #13 | AskN^^ | 44% | 139 |
| #14 | Low Aim | 41% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S! | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | AskN^^ | 10 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Low Aim | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Svessi ツ | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | EZ4ENCE | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S! | 1004 | 0.17 | 25 min |
| #2 | AskN^^ | 365 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | Low Aim | 275 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | asK | 172 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #5 | HEN | 166 | 0.17 | 5 min |





