








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1544 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 719 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Esplay | 3 matches | 1,907 | |
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8558 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,467 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6463 | 23% |
| Smokes | 8621 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6183 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 7200 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,177,964 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haugen | 52% | 507 |
| #2 | sMYGAREN | 51% | 216 |
| #3 | hysfeskar | 51% | 576 |
| #4 | floga | 50% | 146 |
| #5 | Slægga | 50% | 224 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | father badass | 48% | 56 |
| #7 | Blåingen ✪ | 48% | 86 |
| #8 | lasaron | 47% | 224 |
| #9 | negromancer | 47% | 115 |
| #10 | bungle | 44% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haugen | 22 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | hysfeskar | 16 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | sMYGAREN | 13 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | negromancer | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | lasaron | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haugen | 2211 | 0.21 | 66 min |
| #2 | hysfeskar | 1659 | 0.14 | 44 min |
| #3 | sMYGAREN | 879 | 0.19 | 25 min |
| #4 | lasaron | 578 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #5 | Slægga | 321 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blindusa | +2.41 | 83 | 75 |
| #2 | haugen | +1.55 | 79 | 80 |
| #3 | hysfeskar | +0.54 | 60 | 74 |
| #4 | sMYGAREN | +0.11 | 72 | 75 |
| #5 | father badass | -1.07 | 67 | 68 |





