








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 492 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 434 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5310 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,808 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5819 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5060 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5740 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5189 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,176,499 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wiiiii | 72% | 43 |
| #2 | natu | 69% | 26 |
| #3 | mikke | 65% | 101 |
| #4 | PETT1_ | 56% | 397 |
| #5 | Rake | 53% | 372 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | PETT1_ | 56% | 397 |
| #5 | Rake | 53% | 372 |
| #6 | zet0r | 53% | 381 |
| #7 | attE | 53% | 339 |
| #8 | Charlie Murphy | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zet0r | 9 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Rake | 5 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | attE | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | PETT1_ | 3 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zet0r | 2683 | 0.32 | 85 min |
| #2 | PETT1_ | 1308 | 0.15 | 33 min |
| #3 | attE | 1253 | 0.17 | 36 min |
| #4 | Rake | 1131 | 0.14 | 30 min |
| #5 | mikke | 525 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PETT1_ | +1.70 | 74 | 68 |
| #2 | mikke | +1.49 | 83 | 75 |
| #3 | wiiiii | +0.64 | 80 | 73 |
| #4 | natu | +0.33 | 63 | 70 |
| #5 | Suqp3r | +0.17 | 70 | 74 |





