








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
398 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,212 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 564 | 25% |
| Smokes | 834 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 492 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 322 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $130,153 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Ivan the Swag | 72% | 29 |
| #4 | scoutp250 | 71% | 7 |
| #5 | cinnamon toaster | 68% | 47 |
| #6 | Ser.Potato | 60% | 5 |
| #7 | Alphad115 | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cinnamon toaster | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | sh9 | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | scoutp250 | 1 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cinnamon toaster | 146 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | Ivan the Swag | 52 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | sh9 | 50 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | scoutp250 | 13 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | Alphad115 | 9 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sh9 | +5.68 | 76 | 60 |
| #2 | cinnamon toaster | +2.64 | 70 | 69 |
| #3 | scoutp250 | +2.25 | 81 | 59 |
| #4 | Evilmoon | +1.60 | 55 | 66 |
| #5 | Alphad115 | +1.25 | 88 | 61 |





