








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 555 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3522 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,973 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2297 | 12% |
| Smokes | 5323 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6836 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 4517 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,831,851 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fjöösa | 66% | 35 |
| #2 | naigoe | 62% | 106 |
| #3 | Loitsu<3 | 56% | 145 |
| #4 | w1nkziE | 55% | 94 |
| #5 | Eosray | 55% | 282 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fjöösa | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | zrg | 2 | 0.0002 |
| #3 | Eosray | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | tebzz | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #5 | Peguri | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zrg | 2498 | 0.22 | 79 min |
| #2 | tebzz | 1108 | 0.18 | 34 min |
| #3 | Eosray | 1047 | 0.18 | 26 min |
| #4 | Ruspe | 626 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| #5 | Peguri | 592 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zrg | +3.46 | 84 | 84 |
| #2 | fjöösa | +2.29 | 73 | 66 |
| #3 | Eosray | +1.42 | 62 | 67 |
| #4 | Liukur1 | +1.31 | 69 | 70 |
| #5 | w1nkziE | +1.01 | 67 | 68 |





