








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 899 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 477 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6687 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,918 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4812 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4650 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4665 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1791 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,834,740 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 340 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sp1cker | 60% | 119 |
| #2 | sLx | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | danielszen | 51% | 78 |
| #4 | $ho0t-Or-Ði€ | 51% | 45 |
| #5 | Yong Cockus | 39% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sp1cker | 60% | 119 |
| #2 | sLx | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | danielszen | 51% | 78 |
| #4 | $ho0t-Or-Ði€ | 51% | 45 |
| #5 | Yong Cockus | 39% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | danielszen | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | sLx | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | sp1cker | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sp1cker | 221 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #2 | danielszen | 138 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | sLx | 72 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Yong Cockus | 36 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | $ho0t-Or-Ði€ | 29 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | danielszen | +1.74 | 57 | 70 |
| #2 | sp1cker | +0.64 | 62 | 62 |
| #3 | Don KanaiLLe | +0.56 | 79 | 60 |
| #4 | sLx | -0.26 | 72 | 76 |
| #5 | $ho0t-Or-Ði€ | -0.96 | 66 | 55 |





