








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 665 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3099 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,098 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1964 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1957 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1700 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1477 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $920,957 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 488 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Torben, Torben Deagledauer | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | Duffi | 53% | 93 |
| #3 | ♚𝔑𝔦ℭ0™♚ | 53% | 38 |
| #4 | New Year, New Egoisto | 52% | 58 |
| #5 | ISOMANN | 50% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KzX^ | 403 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | New Year, New Egoisto | 288 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #3 | iskiosk | 248 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | ISOMANN | 175 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | Duffi | 75 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lamoe | +2.99 | 82 | 73 |
| #2 | Torben, Torben Deagledauer | +2.89 | 77 | 76 |
| #3 | iskiosk | +1.49 | 77 | 73 |
| #4 | New Year, New Egoisto | +0.84 | 75 | 72 |
| #5 | Duffi | -0.60 | 62 | 51 |





