








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
571 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,262 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 564 | 25% |
| Smokes | 643 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 762 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 293 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $114,127 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niQu | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | HDB | 100% | 6 |
| #3 | ll_Rel4x0_ll | 80% | 5 |
| #4 | Hasbulla | Simon* | 80% | 5 |
| #5 | steini | 75% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | Greatreaper | 27% | 15 |
| #17 | Schnitzler | 25% | 4 |
| #18 | system | 25% | 4 |
| #19 | ©♪→VIPVlaver™← ®?♥ | 25% | 8 |
| #20 | GIGAmaS3ter [Ger] | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schnitti | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Cloud | 1 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Schnitzler | 1 | 0.0102 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FBY | 35 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | Greatreaper | 18 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #3 | schnitti | 17 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | Cloud | 16 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | steini | 12 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HDB | +3.28 | 91 | 57 |
| #2 | steini | +1.76 | 60 | 40 |
| #3 | HandsomeHans | +1.20 | 70 | 63 |
| #4 | FBY | +1.05 | 66 | 70 |
| #5 | niQu | +0.99 | 48 | 32 |





