








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September






The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1824 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,551 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1385 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1680 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1300 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1186 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $769,220 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jjakc | 60% | 58 |
| #2 | cjayyatess | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | ⛧ | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | XENO🗺 | 57% | 28 |
| #5 | HookEm | 57% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jjakc | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Stealth | 5 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | heli- | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Wesley ♦ | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | HookEm | 3 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | heli- | 347 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | i2r iera | 223 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | Wesley ♦ | 221 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | HookEm | 173 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | jjakc | 170 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | boom | +3.17 | 80 | 73 |
| #2 | XENO🗺 | +3.02 | 69 | 64 |
| #3 | cjayyatess | +2.49 | 80 | 68 |
| #4 | heli- | +2.20 | 80 | 70 |
| #5 | jjakc | +1.56 | 82 | 58 |





