








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 184 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2469 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,848 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2465 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2206 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1929 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2248 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $856,882 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magno ♥ | 57% | 49 |
| #2 | Emilio Banderas | 53% | 93 |
| #3 | cjayyatess | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | jjakc | 47% | 95 |
| #5 | ilookmorecubanthanmaverick | 46% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | much profile very name | 43% | 122 |
| #8 | jens | 42% | 24 |
| #9 | Wesley ♦ | 41% | 27 |
| #10 | Knecker. | 36% | 25 |
| #11 | boom | 35% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | heli- | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | much profile very name | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Magno ♥ | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | jjakc | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | ilookmorecubanthanmaverick | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | heli- | 605 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #2 | much profile very name | 560 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #3 | boom | 369 | 0.28 | 9 min |
| #4 | Emilio Banderas | 268 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | jjakc | 262 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cjayyatess | +3.50 | 82 | 64 |
| #2 | boom | +2.72 | 85 | 73 |
| #3 | heli- | +2.46 | 82 | 68 |
| #4 | much profile very name | +1.41 | 62 | 69 |
| #5 | Wesley ♦ | +0.29 | 55 | 66 |





