










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 70 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
664 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,357 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 344 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1061 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 863 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1089 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $308,338 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mostop | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | Fuark | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | maikel shumaker | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | BeißBeiß | 46% | 54 |
| #5 | P-DOG | 45% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P-DOG | 105 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | maikel shumaker | 63 | 0.34 | 2 min |
| #3 | Black Mithrandir Bro | 52 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | _Hustle_ aka Silence | 40 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | mair | 35 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fuark | +2.84 | 43 | 73 |
| #2 | mair | +2.30 | 63 | 46 |
| #3 | maikel shumaker | +2.24 | 52 | 68 |
| #4 | P-DOG | +0.83 | 39 | 66 |
| #5 | _Hustle_ aka Silence | +0.81 | 46 | 57 |





