








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1028 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 682 matches | ||
| Wingman | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6110 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,844 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4436 | 17% |
| Smokes | 8009 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 7963 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 5436 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $967,288 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 150 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fuark | 55% | 51 |
| #2 | maikel shumaker | 52% | 54 |
| #3 | Mostop | 51% | 53 |
| #4 | Schmuserkadser | 51% | 53 |
| #5 | mair | 48% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Fuark | 46% | 103 |
| #7 | BeißBeiß | 43% | 182 |
| #8 | P-DOG | 43% | 329 |
| #9 | Black Mithrandir Bro | 43% | 190 |
| #10 | Daeryll | 42% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P-DOG | 10 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | mair | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Black Mithrandir Bro | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | BeißBeiß | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Fuark | 4 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P-DOG | 433 | 0.06 | 12 min |
| #2 | maikel shumaker | 332 | 0.29 | 10 min |
| #3 | Black Mithrandir Bro | 188 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Fuark | 139 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | mair | 105 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mair | +0.91 | 48 | 43 |
| #2 | Fuark | +0.75 | 33 | 70 |
| #3 | Fuark | +0.68 | 39 | 73 |
| #4 | Schmuserkadser | +0.63 | 62 | 48 |
| #5 | P-DOG | +0.54 | 37 | 64 |





