








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 247 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 177 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1664 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,292 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 918 | 11% |
| Smokes | 3480 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 2238 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1656 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,084,123 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phirsisch | 49% | 209 |
| #2 | kap0w | 49% | 137 |
| #3 | hannibal | 47% | 259 |
| #4 | vaid | 46% | 185 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phirsisch | 49% | 209 |
| #2 | kap0w | 49% | 137 |
| #3 | hannibal | 47% | 259 |
| #4 | vaid | 46% | 185 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hannibal | 12 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | vaid | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | phirsisch | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | kap0w | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hannibal | 618 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #2 | kap0w | 370 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | phirsisch | 351 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | vaid | 223 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kap0w | +1.93 | 75 | 58 |
| #2 | phirsisch | +1.13 | 57 | 66 |
| #3 | hannibal | -1.16 | 40 | 72 |
| #4 | vaid | -1.34 | 59 | 67 |
| #5 | Esde | -1.85 | 31 | 52 |





