








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1726 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,553 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2299 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1687 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1439 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1128 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $186,436 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phirsisch | 49% | 139 |
| #2 | Esde | 49% | 137 |
| #3 | hannibal | 49% | 162 |
| #4 | vaid | 47% | 125 |
| #5 | 13er11i | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | vaid | 47% | 125 |
| #5 | 13er11i | 42% | 12 |
| #6 | [CSBBO] HierSprichtGott | 41% | 17 |
| #7 | Dobler | 35% | 17 |
| #8 | Jimmy | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Esde | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | hannibal | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | vaid | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | phirsisch | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Dobler | 3 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hannibal | 369 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | phirsisch | 222 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | vaid | 146 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Esde | 87 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | Jimmy | 62 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jimmy | +3.35 | 68 | 64 |
| #2 | kap0w | +1.78 | 72 | 58 |
| #3 | Dobler | +1.68 | 76 | 60 |
| #4 | phirsisch | +0.47 | 58 | 67 |
| #5 | hannibal | -1.00 | 41 | 74 |





