








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 99 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3597 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,416 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2281 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3194 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2166 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1775 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,086,575 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 151 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | kbh | 61% | 61 |
| #5 | Tails | 60% | 43 |
| #6 | Nomeiji | 60% | 48 |
| #7 | kerN | 59% | 17 |
| #8 | ★Nyaneko★ | 55% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kish | 10 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | Nomeiji | 6 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | ★Nyaneko★ | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | kbh | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Tails | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★Nyaneko★ | 347 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | kish | 122 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | kbh | 93 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Tails | 56 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Nomeiji | 43 | 0.04 | 1 min |





