








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
855 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,044 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 920 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1593 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 793 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 738 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $725,807 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FPSRushia | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | 刑務所に収監されるべ | 71% | 14 |
| #3 | Drayne O | 61% | 61 |
| #4 | Nomeiji | 56% | 77 |
| #5 | Tails | 52% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★Nyaneko★ | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Nomeiji | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Tails | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Drayne O | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | FPSRushia | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★Nyaneko★ | 345 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | Tails | 124 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | Drayne O | 99 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Nomeiji | 75 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Takumi Senpai | 45 | 0.09 | 1 min |





