








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 101 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1376 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,601 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1052 | 29% |
| Smokes | 889 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 890 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 770 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $356,899 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 183 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plummy | 100 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | Drayne O | 65 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | Patch | 64 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | why | 64 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #5 | kerN | 31 | 0.03 | 1 min |





