








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 371 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 255 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8370 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,844 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5403 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6171 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1930 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 5340 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,098,750 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MBektic | 54% | 48 |
| #2 | peepmischief | 52% | 107 |
| #3 | neo | 52% | 214 |
| #4 | Amnestii | 49% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MBektic | 54% | 48 |
| #2 | peepmischief | 52% | 107 |
| #3 | neo | 52% | 214 |
| #4 | Amnestii | 49% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peepmischief | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | neo | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | MBektic | 6 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | Amnestii | 4 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neo | 1362 | 0.31 | 42 min |
| #2 | Amnestii | 398 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #3 | peepmischief | 104 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | MBektic | 60 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MBektic | +2.41 | 68 | 47 |
| #2 | Lemacc | +1.68 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | neo | -0.03 | 48 | 80 |
| #4 | peepmischief | -0.51 | 61 | 35 |
| #5 | Amnestii | -2.61 | 42 | 60 |





