








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 698 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 226 matches | ||
| Wingman | 103 matches | ||
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4838 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,823 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4686 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6585 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4466 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4086 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,883,717 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 219 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Private Joker | 52% | 160 |
| #2 | ★◥◣ . ◢◤ Kiki ★ | 48% | 42 |
| #3 | Andross | 46% | 158 |
| #4 | Gorby Rams | 43% | 99 |
| #5 | BucK | 42% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andross | 382 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | BucK | 237 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #3 | [MYSTIC] GUREN | 189 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #4 | Gorby Rams | 141 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | ★◥◣ . ◢◤ Kiki ★ | 106 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Private Joker | +1.41 | 73 | 41 |
| #2 | Andross | +1.15 | 57 | 61 |
| #3 | [MYSTIC] GUREN | +0.60 | 48 | 51 |
| #4 | BucK | +0.38 | 50 | 69 |
| #5 | Gorby Rams | -0.06 | 58 | 48 |





