








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 978 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Faceit | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5993 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,617 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3797 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5401 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3502 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4917 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,453,961 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 152 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kelp | 72% | 29 |
| #2 | spud | 68% | 63 |
| #3 | Pibby | 67% | 49 |
| #4 | doob | 67% | 45 |
| #5 | Catlin | 66% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chocolatier | 10 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | ✪ Professor Drip | 9 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | Prodigy | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | halo | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | doob | 4 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Professor Drip | 341 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #2 | doob | 291 | 0.31 | 8 min |
| #3 | Prodigy | 221 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | spud | 186 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | Chocolatier | 157 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5'5 270 | +2.68 | 87 | 64 |
| #2 | kelp | +2.62 | 77 | 55 |
| #3 | Chocolatier | +2.54 | 64 | 58 |
| #4 | spud | +2.54 | 85 | 71 |
| #5 | Catlin | +1.88 | 89 | 54 |





