








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
566 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,925 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 899 | 47% |
| Smokes | 360 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 271 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 395 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $298,203 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | cope.REB!RTH | 48% | 29 |
| #9 | ZAP | 42% | 12 |
| #10 | The American | 39% | 44 |
| #11 | Appalachian Sunrise | 30% | 10 |
| #12 | Cornball Thot | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HELLCAT OWNERMAN | 123 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Chimp_anZ | 103 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #3 | Kevborg | 63 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Vengeance | 55 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | The American | 51 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vengeance | +3.43 | 75 | 60 |
| #2 | Chimp_anZ | +2.89 | 83 | 60 |
| #3 | HELLCAT OWNERMAN | +2.12 | 61 | 50 |
| #4 | cope.REB!RTH | +0.99 | 43 | 44 |
| #5 | Kevborg | +0.88 | 61 | 57 |





