








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 50 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4149 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,316 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4102 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4052 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3569 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3593 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,142,998 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 264 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Kevborg | 58% | 153 |
| #7 | The American | 55% | 99 |
| #8 | Avenger3611 | 54% | 48 |
| #9 | Cornball Thot | 45% | 109 |
| #10 | ZAP | 27% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kevborg | 13 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | The American | 10 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Vengeance | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Reformed Balto | 6 | 0.0096 |
| #5 | Cornball Thot | 5 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chimp_anZ | 473 | 0.25 | 14 min |
| #2 | Vengeance | 319 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | Cornball Thot | 193 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | Kevborg | 177 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Avenger3611 | 172 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chimp_anZ | +3.49 | 83 | 60 |
| #2 | Vengeance | +2.80 | 71 | 61 |
| #3 | Kevborg | +1.13 | 63 | 59 |
| #4 | HELLCAT OWNERMAN | +0.88 | 60 | 55 |
| #5 | Reformed Balto | +0.57 | 81 | 67 |





