








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 150 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
841 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,171 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 966 | 30% |
| Smokes | 902 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 558 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 745 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $212,539 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VeX | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | tkY ✌ | 86% | 7 |
| #3 | Zockerschnegge | 83% | 6 |
| #4 | Rowelly | 83% | 6 |
| #5 | a_tergo3k | 67% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | a_tergo3k | 67% | 12 |
| #6 | Chris P. Bacon | 51% | 59 |
| #7 | hArDiiii x[ | 44% | 43 |
| #8 | Fabolous | 41% | 17 |
| #9 | DiLLoN | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fabolous | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hArDiiii x[ | 191 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | Chris P. Bacon | 142 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Fabolous | 68 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | a_tergo3k | 31 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | DiLLoN | 27 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chris P. Bacon | +1.75 | 83 | 61 |
| #2 | a_tergo3k | +1.07 | 71 | 58 |
| #3 | hArDiiii x[ | +0.77 | 81 | 67 |
| #4 | fakeskuH | +0.04 | 70 | 75 |
| #5 | Fabolous | -0.60 | 84 | 76 |





