








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 282 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
988 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,576 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 812 | 32% |
| Smokes | 729 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 703 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 332 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $270,134 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clint Beastwood | 53% | 80 |
| #2 | J-M-E | 51% | 82 |
| #3 | Admiral Onetap | 48% | 58 |
| #4 | Stuzy | 45% | 20 |
| #5 | mike Prem2024Champions waddlebar | 44% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clint Beastwood | 53% | 80 |
| #2 | J-M-E | 51% | 82 |
| #3 | Admiral Onetap | 48% | 58 |
| #4 | Stuzy | 45% | 20 |
| #5 | mike Prem2024Champions waddlebar | 44% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clint Beastwood | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | J-M-E | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Admiral Onetap | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Admiral Onetap | 299 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #2 | J-M-E | 78 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #3 | Clint Beastwood | 59 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | mike Prem2024Champions waddlebar | 12 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | Stuzy | 6 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clint Beastwood | +2.66 | 79 | 59 |
| #2 | buffy the incel slayer | +1.78 | 75 | 49 |
| #3 | J-M-E | +1.05 | 58 | 66 |
| #4 | Admiral Onetap | -1.99 | 44 | 57 |
| #5 | mike Prem2024Champions waddlebar | -4.15 | 18 | 37 |





