








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
874 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,889 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 612 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1201 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1477 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 599 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $330,215 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Fanta | 50% | 100 |
| #6 | Kaasboer | 47% | 86 |
| #7 | Freezinq | 46% | 63 |
| #8 | [NL]Technicality | 43% | 37 |
| #9 | Overdrive | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fanta | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Freezinq | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Why you coming fast | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Turbo | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Kaasboer | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fanta | 166 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | Turbo | 152 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Kaasboer | 145 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | [NL]Technicality | 145 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | Freezinq | 120 | 0.09 | 3 min |





