








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 359 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3227 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,017 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2402 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4116 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3706 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2793 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,274,211 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Turbo | 49% | 146 |
| #7 | Kaasboer | 49% | 192 |
| #8 | BMPG.013_ | 48% | 31 |
| #9 | Overdrive | 48% | 84 |
| #10 | [NL]Technicality | 47% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Why you coming fast | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Freezinq | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | PRESIDENT | 5 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | Overdrive | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Kaasboer | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freezinq | 458 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #2 | [NL]Technicality | 434 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #3 | Why you coming fast | 427 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #4 | Turbo | 314 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #5 | Kaasboer | 294 | 0.07 | 7 min |





