








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
885 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,303 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1081 | 47% |
| Smokes | 509 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 322 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 391 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $482,887 of utility $241 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loke | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Alexmackzie | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | AlexHackzie ;) | 45% | 31 |
| #4 | Re1oad | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loke | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Alexmackzie | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | AlexHackzie ;) | 45% | 31 |
| #4 | Re1oad | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Re1oad | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AlexHackzie ;) | 66 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | Re1oad | 57 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | Alexmackzie | 24 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Loke | 9 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alexmackzie | +3.52 | 59 | 69 |
| #2 | AlexHackzie ;) | +2.07 | 56 | 70 |
| #3 | Re1oad | +1.79 | 70 | 70 |
| #4 | Loke | +1.60 | 63 | 65 |
| #5 | JT | -1.47 | 41 | 55 |





