








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 238 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 99 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2935 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,449 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3325 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3652 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2511 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 961 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,183,445 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 966 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ashton | 56% | 57 |
| #2 | gluten | 50% | 26 |
| #3 | ModZ1 | 49% | 61 |
| #4 | Karuga | 48% | 138 |
| #5 | Raven | 47% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | gluten | 50% | 26 |
| #3 | ModZ1 | 49% | 61 |
| #4 | Karuga | 48% | 138 |
| #5 | Raven | 47% | 107 |
| #6 | ¢hℓoe♡ | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karuga | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | ModZ1 | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Ashton | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | gluten | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karuga | 513 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #2 | ModZ1 | 128 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ashton | 71 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Raven | 57 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | gluten | 45 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karuga | +1.93 | 51 | 64 |
| #2 | Re1oad | +1.36 | 61 | 62 |
| #3 | ModZ1 | +0.38 | 30 | 42 |
| #4 | gluten | +0.17 | 31 | 41 |
| #5 | ¢hℓoe♡ | -0.77 | 55 | 24 |





