








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1220 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 442 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3929 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,932 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4527 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4939 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3775 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3691 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,321,984 of utility $331 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 380 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bug | 79% | 38 |
| #2 | twitch.tv/t0bs69 | 67% | 24 |
| #3 | noahhhh | 65% | 26 |
| #4 | wipseN:D | 65% | 49 |
| #5 | Meow :3 #AIMTALENT | 63% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wipseN:D | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | bug | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Elias | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | noahhhh | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tottii | 230 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | Meow :3 #AIMTALENT | 223 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | shift11 | 199 | 0.32 | 5 min |
| #4 | wipseN:D | 164 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | ProYo | 164 | 0.21 | 4 min |





