








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 805 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 513 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 104 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




83 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11175 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,444 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11244 | 41% |
| Smokes | 7512 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3459 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 5229 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,897,301 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1530 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -LilPeepfan- | 58% | 88 |
| #2 | Kare (Bear) | 56% | 72 |
| #3 | Meepster | 53% | 132 |
| #4 | Doinks | 49% | 263 |
| #5 | PorkChop | 49% | 224 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Meepster | 53% | 132 |
| #4 | Doinks | 49% | 263 |
| #5 | PorkChop | 49% | 224 |
| #6 | Nig Jong Un | 47% | 122 |
| #7 | Nasty Nate | 44% | 221 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nasty Nate | 17 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Nig Jong Un | 12 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | PorkChop | 11 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Doinks | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Meepster | 6 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PorkChop | 344 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #2 | Meepster | 308 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | Nasty Nate | 192 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | -LilPeepfan- | 186 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Kare (Bear) | 139 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -LilPeepfan- | +3.58 | 82 | 45 |
| #2 | nuke bottom frag | +0.78 | 67 | 59 |
| #3 | Nasty Nate | +0.31 | 61 | 29 |
| #4 | Doinks | +0.02 | 61 | 16 |
| #5 | Kare (Bear) | -0.32 | 52 | 66 |





