








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 485 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 307 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4667 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,937 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6011 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4511 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4626 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4789 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,746,492 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Robert Frost | 53% | 108 |
| #2 | matty | 51% | 255 |
| #3 | Glasses | 50% | 115 |
| #4 | Xion | 49% | 247 |
| #5 | ProPlayerArbi | 48% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tzuyu | 666 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #2 | matty | 606 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #3 | Hentai Kamen | 366 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | Vangetti | 323 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #5 | Xion | 320 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | matty | +4.26 | 81 | 61 |
| #2 | ProPlayerArbi | +2.47 | 76 | 70 |
| #3 | Vangetti | +2.24 | 73 | 63 |
| #4 | Xion | +1.17 | 63 | 54 |
| #5 | Robert Frost | +1.08 | 86 | 39 |





