








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1641 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1220 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 336 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




110 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9553 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,535 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7232 | 26% |
| Smokes | 10481 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 4990 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4832 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,984,500 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3918 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snowy | 50% | 101 |
| #2 | Fkn | L❤VERLY | 50% | 88 |
| #3 | wtp'n | BridgeSeW | 49% | 99 |
| #4 | FkN | FukisuK | 47% | 100 |
| #5 | Mj2.WasteOfSpace | 46% | 414 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Mj2.WasteOfSpace | 46% | 414 |
| #6 | FkN | Nattyb | 45% | 115 |
| #7 | FkN | penjamin franklin | 45% | 67 |
| #8 | FkN | rollin' | 40% | 186 |
| #9 | FkN | Walrus King | 36% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mj2.WasteOfSpace | 23 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | FkN | rollin' | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Snowy | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | FkN | penjamin franklin | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | FkN | Nattyb | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wtp'n | BridgeSeW | 406 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | FkN | rollin' | 165 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #3 | FkN | Walrus King | 114 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | FkN | FukisuK | 102 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | FkN | Nattyb | 59 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FkN | Dingle Berry | +0.77 | 36 | 49 |
| #2 | FkN | rollin' | +0.17 | 69 | 45 |
| #3 | Mj2.WasteOfSpace | +0.17 | 61 | 5 |
| #4 | FkN | Nattyb | +0.10 | 35 | 33 |
| #5 | Snowy | -0.20 | 18 | 11 |





