








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
713 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,831 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1024 | 36% |
| Smokes | 812 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 525 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 470 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $140,989 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smeug | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | kulkuri :) | 53% | 36 |
| #3 | JuCI | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | Sutinkī | 49% | 68 |
| #5 | FluffyPanda | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smeug | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | kulkuri :) | 53% | 36 |
| #3 | JuCI | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | Sutinkī | 49% | 68 |
| #5 | FluffyPanda | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sutinkī | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kulkuri :) | 197 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #2 | Sutinkī | 152 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | FluffyPanda | 22 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | JuCI | 19 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Smeug | 16 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kulkuri :) | +4.98 | 82 | 70 |
| #2 | JuCI | +3.68 | 81 | 73 |
| #3 | Smeug | +1.00 | 70 | 47 |
| #4 | FluffyPanda | -0.22 | 63 | 66 |
| #5 | kellikoira | -0.65 | 75 | 59 |





