








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 557 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 113 matches | ||
| Esplay | 80 matches | 1,871 |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2395 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,213 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1122 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1697 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1616 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1778 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,002,761 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🆃🅷🅴 🅺🅸🅽🅶 BOB3000 | 69% | 35 |
| #2 | RoggeRoger | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | Deatheriin | 63% | 54 |
| #4 | :mean1 | 58% | 12 |
| #5 | Alt under Ctrl | 58% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | 〠 HEJFLICKA 〠 | 42% | 12 |
| #17 | ✪BakeyDood™ | 40% | 25 |
| #18 | jax. | 38% | 13 |
| #19 | Pr1son-Mike | 35% | 17 |
| #20 | Strick | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr-Munk! | 149 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | Deatheriin | 121 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Alt under Ctrl | 121 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | 🆃🅷🅴 🅺🅸🅽🅶 BOB3000 | 112 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | skojjarenツ | 110 | 0.08 | 3 min |





