








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 630 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 262 matches | ||
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3991 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,050 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3526 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4521 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3115 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2888 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,335,883 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | klong. | 50% | 66 |
| #10 | kaesekuchen. | 50% | 282 |
| #11 | jorden | 48% | 48 |
| #12 | DOYA | 47% | 272 |
| #13 | kloNdaik <3 KPO | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaesekuchen. | 853 | 0.14 | 22 min |
| #2 | DOYA | 757 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #3 | DER PROFESSOR | 334 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | kloNdaik <3 KPO | 158 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #5 | klong. | 137 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VLncr | +2.22 | 80 | 75 |
| #2 | jorden | +0.88 | 75 | 67 |
| #3 | kaesekuchen. | +0.36 | 49 | 75 |
| #4 | ESPv2x | +0.17 | 69 | 65 |
| #5 | DER PROFESSOR | +0.10 | 54 | 74 |





