










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Esplay | 16 matches | 1,621 | |
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
407 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,084 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 270 | 25% |
| Smokes | 255 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 406 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 153 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $335,311 of utility $302 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dasen -:Is there a cow tonight:- | 43% | 14 |
| #2 | BOT flamboyantfork | 42% | 19 |
| #3 | mollej | 42% | 19 |
| #4 | Kangounchained | 42% | 19 |
| #5 | tosh | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dasen -:Is there a cow tonight:- | 43% | 14 |
| #2 | BOT flamboyantfork | 42% | 19 |
| #3 | mollej | 42% | 19 |
| #4 | Kangounchained | 42% | 19 |
| #5 | tosh | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT flamboyantfork | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Kangounchained | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Dasen -:Is there a cow tonight:- | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT flamboyantfork | 66 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | Kangounchained | 52 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | mollej | 29 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dasen -:Is there a cow tonight:- | 13 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | tosh | 3 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kangounchained | +2.53 | 77 | 66 |
| #2 | mollej | +2.13 | 54 | 72 |
| #3 | BOT flamboyantfork | +0.58 | 67 | 80 |
| #4 | tosh | +0.04 | 81 | 47 |
| #5 | fryk | -0.64 | 50 | 54 |





