








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 191 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 212 matches | ||
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3649 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,333 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3163 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3116 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3146 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2908 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,144,398 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b1ff | 50% | 100 |
| #2 | ✝ tomb | 48% | 130 |
| #3 | wiqqle [s] | 48% | 170 |
| #4 | PLYYBMANE666 [s] | 47% | 251 |
| #5 | spede_ | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | spede_ | 46% | 24 |
| #6 | ∼*∼pyro∼*∼ | 45% | 47 |
| #7 | Pawtey | 45% | 204 |
| #8 | HornHornsen | 42% | 103 |
| #9 | twitch.tv/gamereader | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wiqqle [s] | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Pawtey | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | ✝ tomb | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | b1ff | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | PLYYBMANE666 [s] | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PLYYBMANE666 [s] | 942 | 0.17 | 25 min |
| #2 | ✝ tomb | 722 | 0.26 | 19 min |
| #3 | wiqqle [s] | 222 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | Pawtey | 198 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #5 | ∼*∼pyro∼*∼ | 138 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PLYYBMANE666 [s] | +2.81 | 70 | 76 |
| #2 | ✝ tomb | +2.35 | 72 | 75 |
| #3 | pava [s] | +0.41 | 73 | 72 |
| #4 | wiqqle [s] | -1.14 | 62 | 59 |
| #5 | spede_ | -1.16 | 62 | 76 |





