








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 626 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 205 matches | ||
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4447 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,823 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4316 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4427 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4006 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4074 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $658,470 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 131 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b1ff | 53% | 122 |
| #2 | wiqqle [s] | 50% | 202 |
| #3 | spede_ | 48% | 27 |
| #4 | Pawtey | 48% | 199 |
| #5 | pava [s] | 47% | 251 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | pava [s] | 47% | 251 |
| #6 | HornHornsen | 46% | 135 |
| #7 | ✝ tomb | 46% | 158 |
| #8 | ∼*∼pyro∼*∼ | 44% | 64 |
| #9 | twitch.tv/gamereader | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pawtey | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | pava [s] | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | ✝ tomb | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | b1ff | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | wiqqle [s] | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✝ tomb | 891 | 0.26 | 23 min |
| #2 | pava [s] | 797 | 0.15 | 22 min |
| #3 | wiqqle [s] | 314 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | ∼*∼pyro∼*∼ | 202 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | Pawtey | 193 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PLYYBMANE666 [s] | +2.92 | 70 | 75 |
| #2 | ✝ tomb | +1.97 | 70 | 77 |
| #3 | pava [s] | +0.44 | 73 | 73 |
| #4 | twitch.tv/gamereader | -0.73 | 65 | 60 |
| #5 | wiqqle [s] | -0.87 | 63 | 61 |





