








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 155 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 227 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2825 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,027 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1414 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2002 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2194 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1417 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,080,140 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n1ce ☂ | 62% | 39 |
| #2 | Ragda | 56% | 41 |
| #3 | marcel =) | 56% | 132 |
| #4 | ZUKATO | 56% | 34 |
| #5 | joshmeister ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 56% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rHe! | 11 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | marcel =) | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | nini | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | ^mrregex$ | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Ragda | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rHe! | 431 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #2 | ^mrregex$ | 421 | 0.36 | 11 min |
| #3 | nini | 333 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #4 | marcel =) | 294 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | nsuR | 263 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marcel =) | +3.78 | 90 | 61 |
| #2 | ^mrregex$ | +1.64 | 67 | 76 |
| #3 | dabears | +1.63 | 72 | 69 |
| #4 | n1ce ☂ | +1.34 | 75 | 52 |
| #5 | rHe! | +0.36 | 50 | 71 |





